Parts of my life that led to unintended consequences:
I love WWF. Those pandas can do a mean body slam. They also asked me to adopt a rhino, but first I have to fortify my garden.
I try to obey signage. STOP is worth the effort. All those horns beeping mean TURN RIGHT ONLY is more than a suggestion. Also discovered that WET PAINT is not an instruction.
Business communication tends to be stuffy. Yes, be on first name terms with your colleagues. No, never end a reply to your boss with an X. We’re on a spa break together next weekend.
Not everyone is good with the written word. There should be a driving test before they give you an Internet connection. Their English is bad, mine is no betterer. They let me know that.
My doctor’s is so smart: I keep going back and paying out. Just one thing - why does she ask ME what’s wrong with me?
Reading widely on the Internet is fine. It doesn’t count as “doing your own research” though. Remember: 81% of statistics on the web are made up on the spot. I checked that out.
Being right does not make you popular. I’m kind of proud to have been proved both unpopular and wrong.
There’s a reason writers are traditionally depicted in literature as living in unheated garrets. It’s a warning from history.
Not everyone will find this even remotely funny. If this applies, please ask for a refund. This is a free publication.
I’m here all week. Try the veal.
~Niall
Why not buy me a coffee.
There’s a reason writers are traditionally depicted in literature as living in garrets, they are near the sun. It’s a warming from history.